Original Air Date:
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Sylvia's Nightmare Begins:
Sylvia and her husband Joe looked like the perfect American family from the outside; but like many couples, their lives were a facade. They were married for 16 years and had 4 children ages 6,8,11 and 12 when Sylvia and her kids arrived home from Thanksgiving. The 911 call was played broadcasting Sylvia's frantic voice saying that she had found her husband in his car in the garage with blood coming out of his mouth; he wasn't breathing. Joe had committed suicide and left Sylvia to pick up his mess. All of this happened just 3 months ago; Sylvia was in a crisis and needed Suze's help.
The Family's Debts:
When Joe was alive, the couple never bothered with price tags - they had a large 5 bedroom home filled with expensive collectibles, regular vacations, overflowing closets of clothing and a playroom bursting with toys of every kind.
6 months ago Sylvia noticed things were elevating and getting out of control. Joe had stopped paying bills, starting spending erratically and drinking excessively; he also became increasingly abusive. After Sylvia found Joe in the garage, she didn't know what to do and had no idea how far in debt they actually were - and how far Joe would go to give her a final slap in the face.
Sylvia's Relationship Troubles and Abuse:
Suze went to Sylvia's house to get answers regarding everything besides the money - what Suze says is the real issue. Sylvia described her relationship with Joe as severely controlling - with everything from money to the way she dressed. Joe was more concerned with his money than he was with his family.
Sylvia had tried to leave before but was scared because Joe had put fear in her that she wouldn't be able to make it without him. The time she did leave she had to return because she couldn't afford to pay the bills; this gave Joe more control.
Sylvia's Financial Reality:
Sylvia didn't find out until the day after Joe committed suicide that he had cancelled his $300,000 life insurance policy 3 months before; leaving Suze to believe he had planned everything out. The day Joe died Sylvia had $72 dollars to her name, no savings, no extra money stashed in the house, no retirement plan, no ownership of the house - owing $350,000, $60,000 in credit card debt and a large home equity loan of $100,000. Sylvia didn't even have enough money to feed her family. She had no idea they were in debt so severely.
Suze's Wake-Up Call:
When Sylvia expressed that she though the insurance policy would get them by, Suze told her how ridiculous it was to hope, wish and pray that her abusive husband would want to protect her by paying for the policy. Suze knew before Sylvia ever confirmed that Joe was an abuser - simply because of the way that he treated his money.
Suze sat down with Sylvia to show her the true number of what it was costing the family to live; after all expenses including the house, utilities, insurance and minimum debt payments, it would cost Sylvia over $9,000 a month just to survive. To make it worse, she had not worked in 12 years.
Suze's Strategy:
Suze's first step for Sylvia was for her to sell her house and move into a 1 bedroom apartment - with 4 kids it was a proper plan for this particular family because the kids had been sleeping with Sylvia for over a year to protect her from Joe at night. Because Sylvia had absolutely no money to her name and such tremendous debt, Suze did the only thing left to do and gathered Sylvia's family and even Joe's family to see what they could do to help get her back on her feet. Suze pointed out that the help should come in the form of action and not money because loans will kill a family; any money should only be a gift.
Sylvia's Future:
After mapping out a plan with Sylvia, they organized an emergency weekend estate sale to sell off all of the collectibles and unnecessary items in the house - the sale earned Sylvia $13,000. With Sylvia earning $2,000 a month from Social Security to help with her 4 kids, a $1,000 a month gift from her sister, the $13,000 from the sale and actively searching to find a job with her experience as a hairdresser, Suze feels that Sylvia and her kids will be just fine.
Sylvia shared that she is organizing family counseling and that she knows that she is strong now and can handle the situation she was placed in.
Suze's Plan for Every Woman:
Suze explained steps that every woman can take to make sure not to end up in Sylvia's position. She instructed that women can't count on anyone to save them; we need to be able to save ourselves. In her book, Women & Money, Suze details her Save Yourself Plan that can be completed with just 24 hours a month for 5 months. With this plan in place, Suze says that no woman will have to end up in Sylvia's shoes. If not having enough money to leave an abusive home is the only thing stopping you, Suze says that as little as $3,000 would be enough to get started.
There is always money somewhere, says Suze, even if it's just $10 a month - starting somewhere is the main objective.
For the first time ever on the Oprah show, a free gift was given to all of the viewers at home - for just over 24 hours, Suze and her publisher agreed to post a free download of her book Women & Money on Oprah.com. The giveaway ended February 14 at 8pm.
