Intervention with Obese Teens & Families in Crisis - Show Recap

Monday, January 26, 2009

Intervention for Obese Teens in Crisis:

Oprah welcomed 16 overweight or obese teens to the show to discuss an intervention they taped prior with counseling team Rich and Yvonne Dutra-St. John. Since obesity is the #1 concern facing children in America, Oprah not only wanted to get the teens help the teens with their health and nutrition, but get to the root of what is causing them to overeat. The 16 teens range in age from 11 to 18, and weigh anywhere from 190 pounds to nearly 400 pounds.

Opening up on camera, the teens openly expressed their emotional struggles and internal conflicts. Many of the kids shared similar stories of pain, including: repressed feelings, embarrassment, struggles with family, making friends, lacking relationships, teasing at school, wanting to have weight-loss surgery, loneliness, fear, comments and judgments from strangers, feeling inferior and overeating not to feel pain.

All of the teens and their parents appeared on the show to discuss their experience during the 8 hour intervention with the Dutra-St. John's. Oprah commended the teens for their courage to speak openly.

18 year-old Josh, who doesn't know how much he weighs because the scale only goes up to 350 pounds, revealed that he uses food to treat all of his feelings, happy or sad. Saying that he doesn't want to be that way anymore, Josh is upset that for an 18 year-old, food is his best friend.

Nick, 16 years-old and 385 pounds said that he eats when he is depressed or sad, and has nowhere else to turn. Oprah shared a very true statement for the teens, saying "food is your comfort, food is your love."

The counseling team of Rich and Yvonne Dutra-St. John shared their goals for the intervention as: 1. To have the teens examine the question, "What are you hungry for?" and 2. To create a safe zone for the teens to speak honestly about their feelings.

The first exercise during the intervention included a series of questions that began with the phrase, "Stand If..." and required the teens or their family members to stand if the phrase described them. Sample phrases included: Stand if you have ever considered or attempted suicide; stand if you have ever felt shame or embarrassment about your weight; etc.

The exercise gave the teens and their family an opportunity to reveal things about themselves in a safe environment, without having to speak the words themselves. Back on the show, Oprah commented that the questions about suicide was chilling for her. Yvonne was not surprised by the number of teens who stood up, saying that the goad was for them to see that they are not alone in those feelings.

The next exercise found the teens and their families sitting in small circles finishing the phrase, "If you really knew me, you'd know this about me..."

The footage of the intervention showed 17 year-old Jillian, who weighs 315 pounds, revealing to her family that she hates herself, and would rather sleep to avoid the pain of her life. Her mother, in return, shared that her daughter's pain breaks her heart, and she tries to give her things to make her happy.

Raven, who at 12 weighs 190 pounds, heard her mother's confession that she knows her brain tumor is a burden on her children. Raven then could share that she feels she's had to grow up quickly to help her family and struggles with the need to be strong all the time.

Nick opened up about his embarrassment and pain at getting cut from the basketball team because of his weight, and eating more to fill his time. His father, James, was emotional in saying he hurts to watch his son's struggle, and struggles himself as a single dad working to support the family, and in turn, not being there for his son.

Back on the show, James expressed that the intervention was one of the most powerful experiences he's ever had in his life. Oprah took the opportunity to say to James and viewers that what she's learned through the show is that kids really just want their parent's time and validation.

Oprah stated, "the common denominator of the human experience...everybody is looking for the same thing...what everybody wants to know is, "Do you see me?""

Josh's mom, Ann, shared in the exercise during the intervention that she is afraid of her children taking after her in regards to her drug addiction. His father, Andy, admitted that he is rough with his kids and expects perfection from them. When it was Josh's turn to share, he was able to share that he has been beaten by both of his parents, that he feels like a disappointment to his father, and eats when he's sad - which has been most of his life.

On the show, Yvonne described a method she and her husband use to help people express their anger. She described an interaction with her daughter and revealed most people's instinct to react to anger defensively, to try to fix the problem, to compare the feeling to their own situation, when really, what the person is looking for is just to be heard.

During the intervention, Yvonne led the teens in an exercise that required them to stand inside the large circle of teens and family members and face a loved one one-on-one and yell "I'm angry that..." The footage showed 6 of the teens opening up and breaking down.

Many of the experiences the teens were angry at involved being teased and judged by others, feeling that they've disappointed their families, having a broken home or no father-figure, and parents blaming themselves for their child's weight. While the experience left the teens open and vulnerable, it also served to begin the conversation of being honest, even if it hurts.

In response to the footage, Oprah stated that with divorce, a death of a parent, or other traumatic events, kids who can't verbally express their pain need the feelings to go somewhere. While some kids act out, use drugs or fail school in response to pain, others turn to food.

Going Home and Making Changes:

To wrap up the show, Oprah again stated that the most important things to address is what you're really hungry for, instead of eating to numb the feelings.

Yvonne also expressed to the parents that it is ok to say I'm sorry to your children. She reminded them that they will make mistakes, but their biggest mistake is not admitting it and apologizing.