Original Air Date:
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Ted Haggard:
Ted Haggard seemed to have it all: a loving wife, 5 children and 30 million devoted followers of his Evangelical church. In the HBO film The Trials of Ted Haggard the truth of Ted Haggard's rise and fall from glory is revealed. In short, Ted Haggard began the New Life Church in 1985 and helped it grow to have a worldwide following. With his wife and kids at his side, Haggard regularly met with President GW Bush and was even named in Time Magazine's list of the 25 Most Influential Evangelicals. Life seemed great until Mike Jones' revealing radio interview.
Ted Haggard's Sex and Drug Scandal:
When former male prostitute Mike Jones revealed in an interview that he had a 3 year sexual relationship where he was paid for sex and crystal meth by Ted Haggard, all eyes were on the Evangelical Reverend. Haggard denied everything at first and was supported by his church, but later - when a tape was leaked of a phone call between Haggard and Jones - Haggard admitted to calling, but said that he threw the drugs away and only went to Jones for a massage. Haggard did eventually admit to "sexual immorality" and resigned from the church who took the case seriously and exiled him.
Oprah and Ted Haggard:
When Ted Haggard began to share with Oprah, he revealed that he lied about the accusations because of shame at the dark part of his life that was about to be revealed. Not wanting to admit the truth to himself, let alone his wife, children and church followers, Ted at first tried to make the story go away. Saying that he "hated and loved that part of him" was what made Ted realize the opportunity he had been given to be free from the lies. Now grateful for the events because they allowed him to work through his struggles with his sexuality and reach a place of honesty with his family and community.
On Being Gay:
Ted admitted to Oprah that he does not think he's gay, but that he falls along a complex spectrum of sexuality. While Ted shared that he is in love with his wife and has an intimate sex life with her, he still has homosexual thoughts and desires and has for the majority of his life. Ted revealed that he had a relationship with a boy in 7th grade and was sexually abused by his father's friend in the 2nd grade - though he never viewed it as abuse. Oprah responded to Ted by noting that his real issue lies in the denial of his feelings and true self.
On Keeping Secrets:
In a video clip from 1997, Ted was shown speaking on how there are no secrets because God will eventually reveal all. When Oprah asked if Ted was living a secret life at the time of the sermon, he stated that he would like to keep the details private, but that he was struggling with himself during those years. Saying that he was desperate to change, Ted didn't want is true self to destroy his family or church - knowing if he revealed himself, he would lose everything. The thought of losing his wife, kids and support of his church made Ted contemplate suicide if the truth were to ever come out.
Ted Haggard's Family:
The response of his family is what Ted says saved him. Instead of turning their back on him, they opened their arms to the reality of who their husband and father was, instead of who they viewed him to be. At the depth of his despair, Ted shared that he could not pray or read the scripture, but Christ came looking for him and gave him the ability to be himself through the process over the last 2 years. At his lowest point, Ted opened up completely to his wife and told her everything and stated that he met his wife and kids for the first time as his true self, and they still loved him.
Gayle Haggard:
After being married for more than 30 years, Gayle Haggard admitted to Oprah that she was completely shocked by the allegations by Mike Jones. Saying that the combination of sex and drugs was over the top, she initially laughed at the thought, but was stunned when Ted shared with her that it was true. While Gayle did have reservations throughout their marriage, she stated that she believed in their intimate relationship and rationalized away the negative thoughts. When Oprah asked why she stayed, Gayle shared how much she loves her husband and made the choice to forgive and move forward with him.
The Church Community:
After the truth was revealed, Ted Haggard and his family were excommunicated from their church and were required to permanently leave the state of Colorado. Forbidden from ever preaching again, Ted was put in the position of finding a way to support his family in a new way. Ted shared that he feels deeply that the church was trying to protect everyone involved and that he sees the community as a family. Ted apologized to his church family on the show as he never had the opportunity to do so during the process of the scandal.
The Sexuality Spectrum:
Gayle and Oprah debated on the show on the topic of choice and sexuality. Gayle viewed the issue as people have the choice of their inclinations, while Oprah disagreed and stated that people should not deny who they truly are. Ted found a way to say that both Oprah and his wife were correct - that people can be true to themselves and also have options for personal responsibility. Oprah stated that the personal responsibility comes in not denying oneself, but in not lying about it. The choice is not in who you are, but in the choice of presenting your true self to the world.
Ted Haggard's Children:
Two of Ted and Gayle's children, Kristy and Marcus, appeared on the show to share their take on the process. Ted's adult children shared that they worked through the process with their father because the felt that their family was worth holding on to. Kristy shared that she had struggled in her own life not being able to relate to a "God of perfection" but was able to open her arms to her vulnerable father who she began to see as a man with faults.
Life After the Scandal:
Video clips were shown of the Haggard's life after the scandal where they moved to Arizona and spent time living with different friends as Ted tried to find a job for the first time at 51. After months with no luck finding work, the Haggard's found themselves living in a hotel. To make ends meet, the Haggard's took a loan against their home in Colorado to rent an apartment and Ted began selling health insurance door-to-door. Change and hope came when the church lifted their restrictions and the Haggard's were able to return to their home in Colorado.
Ted Haggard's Final Thoughts:
Ted again expressed his gratitude to Mike Jones after Oprah read a statement from Jones. Ted shared that his intention in being interviewed was not to open old wounds for others, but as hope that those wounds could begin to heal. Ted shared that he views the Bible as God's word and ideal for the world, but that the opposite of the ideals exist, and God loves those people too.