Original Air Date:
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Jenny McCarthy - Mother Warrior:
Oprah and her team first got the idea for this episode from reading an article in the Boston Globe about a mom who triumphed when the odds were stacked against her. Before meeting this mom, Oprah welcomed Jenny McCarthy back to the show who served as a representative from the Oprah Show and interviewed the warrior mom in her home. Jenny is an outspoken advocate for parents who have autistic children and the children themselves. She wrote a new book titled Mother Warrior that not only shares her own story but that of other mothers. Jenny described the mother warrior as a spirit to do anything for your child.
Jenny McCarthy and Monica:
Jenny's son Evan was diagnosed as autistic but now is considered recovered after all of the energy Jenny put into his health and treatment. Jenny recalled making a pact with God when Evan was first diagnosed that if he healed her child, she would teach the world how to help their autistic children, and so she has. Jenny shared that when it comes to autism, there is a menu of options to try to see what will make a difference in your child's life - if one thing doesn't work, move on to the next possible treatment.
It is this same determination and spirit that Jenny and Oprah saw in Monica along with her husband Tony.
Tony and Monica were an engaged couple about to have their first child together after both had gone through painful divorces. They were thrilled to welcome their new baby when Monica was taken to the hospital to have a c-section. Within hours of delivering their daughter Sophia, Monica came down with a fever as well as a swollen abdomen and pain that lasted 3 days. She was finally diagnosed with a fierce flesh eating bacteria that could only be treated by surgery to remove the infected areas. This meant that just days after delivering a baby, Monica lost her gall bladder, ovaries, uterus, colon, arms and legs.
Warrior Mom Monica's Determination:
After surgery came months of rehabilitation; Monica just wanted to go home to her 2 daughters as soon as possible. Going through extra hours a day of rehabilitation, Monica was finally able to go home to her family and new husband - she and Tony had married in the hospital.
Monica was welcomed to the show and walked on herself with Tony's help wearing prosthetic legs, but not arms. After welcoming Monica, Jenny commented about the 6 hours that they spent with each other talking about being determined mothers. Jenny stated that she had a lightbulb moment with Monica when she realized how she had accepted what is.
Monica accepted her situation, realizing that she couldn't change it and surrendering to reality, she fought to get through it for her family. This realization hit Jenny as she thanked Monica for the light and inspiration that she brings to so many people. Monica shared that her strength as well as lack of self pity came from the love of her husband and daughters at home; she knew that she was still the same person inside and could still love her family the same, even though her body changed she still had her mind and her heart.
Warrior Mom Monica on Self Doubt:
Monica did have her moments of doubt when it came to marrying Tony. Monica shared that it did cross her mind that Tony might want to leave since she had changed and she even questioned if she should marry him. She realized that she was still the same person that he fell in love with, even though she looked different, and she went through with the wedding in her hospital bed before her surgery.
Tony has stuck by Monica through the struggles in the past year getting used to their situation. He commented that he never questioned walking away, it was never an option; she needed him and they are a team.
Jenny McCarthy and More with Monica:
Jenny wanted to shout "pay attention men!" because of the 80% divorce rate in families when a child is diagnosed with autism. Many men walk away when someone in the family goes through a struggle instead of standing up and supporting the people that love them; Tony was commended for his love and strength as well.
More was shown from Jenny's interview with Monica in her home where they talked about frustrations. Monica shared that she struggled at first caring for her older daughter and new baby while getting used to her new condition; while she missed out on some things, she was still very capable.
Monica does as much as she can with what she has, even if it means it takes more time. What are routine tasks for many people have become challenges for Monica that can become repetitive and test her patience, like paying bills. Monica may have to pick up the pen over and over, but keeps with it and stays calm. Monica shows such courage telling Jenny - what good are you to your kids if you're miserable, what are you teaching them if you give up?
Jenny McCarthy on Autism:
Jenny shared that all mothers are warriors, especially stay-at-home moms who get the least amount of credit for what they do. Jenny wants to also inspire and educate others with her story. She shared that she had a choice when her son was diagnosed with autism, she could either wallow in self pity, or charge down a path of treatment with the determination.
Jenny also wanted to clear up that she is not part of an anti-vaccine community; she just feels parents and children deserve safe vaccines. More time is needed to decide on an individual basis whether a child is strong enough to handle a vaccine - some kids cannot have penicillin, how do doctors know that all kids can handle all vaccines all the time.
There are many treatments to work with a child with autism, it is not all linked with vaccines. If a child is diagnosed, look into what toxins they are around, adding supplements, changing their diet and going to therapy - keep trying new options and don't give up, Jenny shared that your kids can get better, even if it is just with baby steps.
Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey:
When Jenny was single, she prayed to meet a man with a big heart who would love her and her son - she found that in Jim Carrey. Jenny commented that having someone by your side to love and support you really gives a woman a chance to blossom into her true self.
Jim shared that in the beginning of their relationship, it was difficult not being able to connect with Evan and make him laugh - as one of the funniest men in the world! - he just couldn't get through to him. Jenny also struggled with Jim and Evan's lack of connection, feeling panic and guilt over the relationship. Jim was so open when he said that connecting with a child with disabilities requires going deeper into love, taking expectations out of the equation and just being with them on their level.
Jim now feels that Jenny and Evan are his family, sharing that he had such an easy feeling with them and the answer to all of his questions always came back 'yes.'
